You Thought Life Would Look Different by 30: Now What?
You’ve done everything right, or so you thought. You finished grad school, landed your first “real” job, and moved into your apartment. But despite reaching these milestones, there’s a gnawing emptiness you can’t quite explain. You’re not actively dating, but you’re open to it. What you’re craving is connection. Community. Someone to grab tacos with on a Tuesday. Someone who remembers your name.
But searching online for that leads to a phrase you secretly hate: “Best churches for singles near me.” You don’t want to be labeled “single.” Still, you Google it because maybe— just maybe—those churches have what you’re looking for: a place to belong.
Lonely, But You’d Never Admit It (But You’re Not Alone)
According to the U.S. Surgeon General, loneliness is now an epidemic in America, with 50% of adults reporting feeling lonely. Even more staggering, 1 in 3 young adults feel completely alone. It’s a silent struggle that even the most successful 30-year-olds don’t often admit.
And dating apps? They know exactly how to find you. They use the word “single” because it works. As noted in Table for One Ministries’ research, multimillion-dollar companies like Events and Adventures and nearly every dating platform use “single” because it’s how people self-identify when searching for connection.
So while you might cringe at the term, the world uses it to find others like you. The church should take note.
Churches, Don’t Define Me: See Me
Here’s the truth: singles are not all the same. Some are dating, some are healing, some are divorced or widowed, and many are simply waiting or not waiting at all. But all deserve to be seen. Only 23% of churchgoers are single, while 62% of single adults in the U.S. have never been married. That’s a massive gap in outreach. Churches that want to be relevant in today’s culture must shift their focus from programming to people.
Many churches offer single-focused small groups, discipleship opportunities, and multi-generational gatherings that reflect the Body of Christ. But they need to go a step further. Rather than create silos labeled “Singles Ministry,” they need to create environments where people feel welcomed, regardless of marital status.
What Makes a Church Great for Singles? (Hint: It’s Not a Dating Program)
So, what makes a church great for singles like you?
- Intentional Community: You’re not looking for a speed dating night at the church coffee bar. You want authentic connections built around shared purpose.
- Biblical Teaching: You want sermons that speak to your season of life and challenge you to grow spiritually, like Colossians 2:10 says, “You are complete in Christ.”
- Engaged Leadership: Churches where the pastor knows singles are part of the church family, not a side ministry.
- Safe Spaces: Places where you can show up without being asked, “So, are you seeing anyone?”
Churches that get this right often don’t call it a name to avoid using “single”. They might call it a young professionals group, a community group, or a Tuesday night gathering. The name doesn’t matter as much as the intentionality that there is a place for singles to connect.
The Church Can Do Better—And Must
Research from Table for One Ministries reveals that many churches are unknowingly overlooking this demographic. In fact, some of the fastest-growing churches in America surveyed had no specific ministry for singles and didn’t even know what percentage of their congregation was single.
But singles matter. Your life is not on pause. You’re not waiting for marriage to be useful in the Kingdom of God. You are complete in Christ today, and the church needs to act like it.
Looking for a Church That Gets It? Start Here
You can start by visiting your local church websites and searching for:
- “Young Professionals Ministry”
- “Community Groups”
- “Church Singles”
- “Singles Small Group” (yes, the word still works, even if it stings)
- “Singles Ministry”
You’ll know when you walk through the doors of a church that sees you, not your label, because it won’t just be about being single. It’ll be about being a disciple.
