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Should I Date a Friend’s Ex?


What?  Was that answer too quick and easy? Does every blog have to be 1,000 words or more to truly get to the bottom of an issue?

Dating a friend’s ex can be complicated if feelings are still involved. It would not be something to rush into, but it is not something to be avoided. Sometimes the couple that breaks up still hang around each other because while they’ve determined they aren’t going to pursue marriage, they are still friends.

The principles at play are committed decisions and open, honest, communication. These are reflected in Matthew 5:37 and letting your yes be yes. When someone is dating they are committed to that relationship to see whether God will lead the friendship further into marriage. Once the couple determines their relationship will not progress beyond friendship, they are free to investigate other relationships.

We are not encouraging you end other friendships to seek this new one, but certainly friends committed to one another will not see this as a hostile act of aggression.

So why wait or avoid a friend’s ex when that person could be who God is calling you to date and possibly be your future spouse? The whole idea of putting friends before those you date is childish and unfounded. Be respectful to your friends and if you feel led, let them know you intend to ask their ex on a date. But you don’t need their blessing or permission to do so. They do not own or have “dibs” on that person for the rest of their life.

Follow God’s direction when dating, and let Him lead as you date. Dating is the only way to find out if someone is whom God has called you to marry. True friendships can handle adult relationships. Go for it!


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