Could You Marry in 90 Days?

TLC has launched a show where people meet online, are together for 90 days, and in the end they have to get married or break up. So the question arises, could you meet someone and marry them in 90 days?

Marriage is a big deal! But also a big deal for some singles is the need/desire to be married…and soon. Some singles are facing a biological clock to start a family, while others are just tired of being alone. But, most of the people on the show are missing one key relationship in their life. A relationship with Christ.

A relationship with Christ makes us whole. It puts together the broken pieces of our lives.

God gives His only Son as a payment for our sins. It is sacrificial love we don’t deserve but is freely given to us to accept and have a relationship with our Creator. So, the question then is why do you “have to get married in 90 days?” Why is there such a rush to fill a void in life when Christ has already done that for those who have accepted him.

Single adult Christ-follower, hear us. Do not make a life-long decision based on a short-term relationship.

It is not the 90 days being engaged on the show that’s the problem, it is the years behind it that make a marriage. Be Complete in Christ. Let marriage be the icing on the top of the cake instead of the whole cake. When you approach dating with this mindset, then you will make good decisions empowered by prayer that will lead to a life that honors Christ.

Can you find a spouse in 90 days? Sure, but is that what God wants you to do?

Let The Games Begin!

Perhaps you have heard about this. The Game Show Network (GSN), buoyed by the success of “The American Bible Challenge,” has decided to develop another new game show with believers in mind. And so, they are developing “It Takes a Church,” a dating show where church members compete against each other to find the perfect mate for their single co-congregant. For the show, “a church will go on a mission to find love for one lucky, single parishioner…without them knowing! Each week, we’ll visit another church from across the country and surprise a single girl (or guy) with the news that she is about to be saved from the dating world. The congregation, Pastor, friends, and family will all contribute, but in the end our single will decide which suitor she is putting her faith in.”

There are so many things troubling about that description, I don’t know where to begin.

“A church will go on a mission…” Since when is it the MISSION of the church to marry me off?  Did I just really misunderstand Matthew 28?

“Lucky, single parishioner…” Not sure “lucky” is the word I would use.

“Without them knowing!” Really? That makes the person even MORE unlucky in my opinion. Granted, the person must at some point sign off on the whole deal, but that is NOT a surprise I would welcome… “Hey Susie-Q!  The church voted and decided you need our help and the assistance of a nationally televised game show if you are ever going to find love.”

“Our single will decide which suitor she is putting her faith in.”  Okay, I’m trying to remind myself that although the target audience is Christian, the show developers are not necessarily Christian themselves.  But still, this comment seems to perpetuate the idea that a single person can or should place their entire faith ANYWHERE but Jesus. I think single women, especially, hear (and sometimes buy into) the lie that if they will find a Godly husband, they can just follow him, while he follows God. Certainly, you put faith in anyone you are going to marry (if you can’t do that, don’t get married), but blindly following anyone besides God will not go well, and ultimately we are to place our faith in Christ.

I am hopeful about one thing with this game show, however. Won’t it be wonderful if it provides a platform for godly men and women to state their beliefs about God’s plan for marriage, or perhaps discuss the uncommon belief that sex was created for marriage only? God can be glorified in more venues and ways than I could ever imagine, so I pray he’ll be glorified in this, and maybe the prayers of some “lucky, single parishioner” will be answered.

UPDATE: “It takes a Church” is scheduled to premiere on June 5, 2014:

Do Not Worry

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

Matthew 6:34

As a single adult there is a lot to worry about. There is sometimes pressure from friends and family to “find someone and settle down,” finances with only one income, and balancing a social life that is honoring to God and does not break the bank. When Jesus is talking here, He wants all of us to know that God sees our worries. Yes, you as a single adult sometimes worry about what you will eat, what career path you will choose, who you will socialize with, and what clothes you will wear. Jesus is talking to all of us in Matthew 6:25 with His Sermon on the Mount to put our trust in God because He is the one who has provided for us and will continue to do so, just like the flowers in the fields.

God already knows your worry and He even tells us in verse 6:27 that none of us can add to our life by worrying. So, what should we be doing instead of worrying? Verse 6:32: “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Your relationship with God is priority #1 above any worries or anxieties you might have. Focus on honoring God, and you will not have to worry about any of your day to day trials. Click here to see what a relationship with God looks like and encourage those around you who worry to keep their eyes on God and let Him take care of the details.

On the Market

So you are looking for someone to date and you are officially “on the market.” Good for you! If you have a desire to find someone and maybe a future spouse, you have to be willing to put yourself out there and meet new people. You can do this in many ways and some of them can even cost you money. Here are few Pro’s and Con’s to meeting other singles in certain venues.

  • Church
    • Pro: Why not start where people share your same values? It’s true that not all people in church can automatically be trusted more, however your chance of finding someone like-minded increases. If your group is growing, new people will be coming and you can meet new singles that way.
    • Con: Same old same old. If you have been going to a group for awhile you may have already decided there is no one there to date. This could be even more true if you still go to church where you grew up as a kid. Waiting for new people to come to your group may not fit into “your timetable,” so more options may need to be considered.
  • Work
    • Pro: You know people from a  working relationship and they could be a quality potential mate. Work is also a way to meet new customers or clients that could potentially lead to a date, though we don’t recommend you only interact with them for that purpose.
    • Con: Your work place policy may be against office dating and it could get you in serious trouble. Also, if the relationship goes south it may be awkward working next to the person you just broke up with. If the relationship works out and you get married, it can also be a challenge if one of you needs to move locations due to your employer’s policies.
  • Bar/Club
    • Pro: None
    • Con: Lots of them all stemming from one issue, authenticity. Meeting singles in the bar or club seems like a good idea, but often this is just a false reality; some people put on masks to lure others. Go to the bars and clubs with friends to have fun, stay sober, and meet others with your same values. Just be aware of the challenges you face doing so.
  • Online
    • Pro: Meet your next date in seconds! Literally! We have heard many great stories of singles meeting online and getting married, but they all had one thing in common. They met in person shortly after meeting online. A personal relationship needs to be personal and therefore, in person. Use online dating to go on a “blind date” just as you would if a  friend set you up, but not as a place to post your whole life and expect it to give you the perfect match. Only God knows who is your mate, not a website.
    • Con: It can cost money and dating websites exist to make a lot of it. Don’t be fooled by any dating site, Christian dating sites included.  They are not there for the sole purpose of finding your spouse; they are there to make money. So be prepared that hidden cost can add up over time. Also, dating website have been known to have fake profiles to entice people to sign up. And as we said before, meet in person as soon as possible. There are people who only date online, but we just think a relationship needs to be built in person to be the best it can be.

So, get out there and get on the market to find someone. Dating involves a little bit of risk-taking to possibly find your spouse. Always remember that you are complete in Christ as a follower of Him and you don’t need a date to feel whole. Date because God has placed that desire in your heart and not to a fill a hole of loneliness.