Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged: A Christian Perspective
Deciding to get engaged is a significant step in any relationship, especially for Christians seeking to build a marriage that reflects biblical values. Engagement isn’t just a romantic milestone—it’s a pivotal moment where two lives begin uniting. With lifelong commitment in view, it’s essential to ask the right questions before making this decision. In this blog, we’ll explore these key questions, grounded in biblical wisdom and supported by insights from the book “Questions Couples Ask: The Critical Conversations Before Marriage”. We will also tie in some important statistics and resources from TFOMinistries that highlight Christian engagement trends.
Why Asking Questions Before Engagement Is Important
In our fast-paced culture, it’s easy to get swept up in the excitement of love, dating, and engagement without reflecting on what a lifelong commitment truly requires. According to TFOMinistries, only 24% of Christian singles feel prepared for marriage. This highlights a critical gap in premarital preparation, which is where asking intentional questions before engagement comes into play.
Engagement is not the end goal—it’s the beginning of a journey toward marriage. The Bible teaches us that marriage is a covenant (Genesis 2:24, Ephesians 5:31-33), symbolizing the union between Christ and His Church. Because of this union’s depth and significance, entering it without careful consideration can lead to future challenges that might have been avoided by asking key questions early on.
Questions to Ask Before You Get Engaged
What Are Our Core Values and Beliefs? A shared foundation of faith is critical for Christian couples. “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers,” Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 6:14. Asking each other about your core beliefs and how they align with your Christian faith will reveal whether you both are moving in the same spiritual direction.
This question also touches on practical matters like how you will raise children, approach church involvement, and serve others. A key finding from TFOMinistries is that many Christian singles struggle with aligning spiritual priorities, which can later cause tension in the marriage.
How Do We Handle Conflict? Every couple faces conflict, but how you handle it makes all the difference. Healthy communication is vital, grounded in biblical principles like forgiveness (Ephesians 4:32) and patience (James 1:19). Couples should ask each other how they plan to resolve disagreements when they arise.
It’s important to note that poor conflict resolution can predict future marital challenges. The book “Questions Couples Ask” suggests exploring how your partner reacts under stress or disagreement and discussing ways you can support each other through difficult times.
What Are Our Long-Term Goals and Ambitions? It’s essential to discuss your visions for the future. Where do you see yourself in five or ten years? How does your partner’s vision align with yours? Your goals may include career aspirations, family planning, or ministry opportunities, and they should be considered in light of your shared faith.
A mismatch in long-term goals can cause tension, so talking about this early on ensures you’re both heading toward the same destination. If your future visions conflict, it may indicate that more prayer and conversation are needed before taking the next step.
How Do We Approach Financial Stewardship? Financial disagreements are a common source of stress in marriages. It is crucial to have an honest conversation about your spending habits, debt, savings, and financial goals. Proverbs 21:5 reminds us that “the plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty.”
Discussing finances before engagement will set the stage for wise stewardship in your marriage. The TFOMinistries page highlights that financial compatibility is one of the top concerns for Christian singles preparing for marriage.
Are We Emotionally Ready for Marriage? Engagement is not just about love; it’s about emotional maturity. Marriage requires emotional resilience and the ability to handle life’s ups and downs together. The book “Questions Couples Ask” suggests couples discuss past traumas, emotional triggers, and how they can support each other’s emotional well-being.
According to TFOMinistries, emotional readiness is a major area where many couples feel unprepared, highlighting the need for deep emotional conversations before engagement.
The Role of Christian Community and Discipleship
Being part of a supportive Christian community is one of the greatest blessings in preparing for marriage. Proverbs 15:22 says, “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers, they succeed.” Couples preparing for engagement should seek wise counsel from pastors, mentors, or other married couples who can offer valuable advice and pray with them as they discern God’s will.
Discipleship plays a crucial role in shaping a Christ-centered marriage. Christian couples can grow together through Bible study, prayer, and attending premarital counseling, all of which will help lay a solid foundation for the future.
Before you get engaged, asking these questions will help you and your partner enter into marriage with clarity, confidence, and Christ at the center. Engagement is a season of preparation, not just a prelude to a wedding. By seeking God’s wisdom and asking intentional questions, you can build a marriage that reflects His design and purpose.
If you’re a single Christian or engaged couple looking for more guidance, TFOMinistries offers valuable resources and insights to help you prepare for marriage in a way that honors God.
By asking the right questions now, you can ensure that you are ready to enter the sacred covenant of marriage with joy and intentionality.
