When Avoidance Keeps You Stuck
Updated November 8, 2026.
A reflection from an anonymous single missionary, originally published in 2015. The closing questions and resource suggestions are from Table for One Ministries.
I sometimes indulge in avoidance by sticking my head in the sand. It is comfortable down there. Especially around the first and fifteenth of the month, when I have to sit down, write checks, and pay daunting companies for the services they provide out of my already low bank account.
Punching numbers and paying the Piper has lost its joy these days. But not paying the Piper brings unwanted rats into my life. As I sighed one day at the consequences of my sand-like habit, I wondered why I did it. I knew the problem would grow, but I burrowed my head anyway.
What am I avoiding?
Sometimes the uncomfortable thing is an ordinary responsibility. Sometimes it is a conversation, an apology, or a sin I do not want to name. Those are different situations, but refusing to look at them does not make them disappear.
We can invite trusted people to help us face what is happening. Someone who knows us can ask a useful question, offer encouragement, or remind us of the next step we said we would take. Living alone does not mean we must handle every concern alone.
Pay attention to what God has said
First John 1:9 gives us reason to confess our sins rather than hide them: God is faithful to forgive and cleanse us. We can be honest with Him about what we have done and what we need.
Hebrews 2:1–4 warns believers to pay close attention to the message of salvation they have heard. Its concern reaches deeper than remembering a deadline. Am I listening to the truth, or letting it become background noise?
Hebrews 12:11 also describes the righteousness and peace that can grow through God's discipline. Learning is not always comfortable. That does not give us permission to label every hardship as punishment or assume we know why another person is suffering.
Bring one concern into the light
Lifting our heads does not resolve everything at once. It does allow us to see what is there. We can ask for help, take responsibility where it belongs to us, and stop pretending that hiding is the same as resting.
A next step from Table for One Ministries
Choose one thing you have been avoiding. Name the task plainly, then identify a step small enough to do today. For a bill, that might mean opening it and checking the due date. For a strained relationship, it might mean preparing an honest apology.
Our guide to making a budget plan can help with financial organization. For a more complicated decision, read about seeking wise counsel. You can also build a steady rhythm of time with God and ask a trusted friend for support through biblical friendship.
Growth takes practice. Our reflection on the fruit of the Spirit connects that growth with ordinary choices and conversations.
Questions about avoidance and accountability
Where should I start when everything feels overdue?
Identify the most time-sensitive concern and one manageable action. Ask for practical help if you need it. Facing one task is a beginning; you do not have to solve your whole life this afternoon.
What does healthy accountability look like?
Agree on what kind of support you want and when to check in. A trusted friend can encourage honest follow-through while respecting your privacy and responsibility for your own decisions.
