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Racism and Dating

Let’s talk about it.

Interracial dating or dating your native race can be a big deal. Regardless of skin color, interracial dating a person of a different nationality or ethnicity may lead to a point of contention. Cultural experiences shape us into who we become whether we admit it or not. Events experienced at a young age, from the toys we play with to the friends we have, from family interactions to relationships outside our front doors–everything we’ve been through shapes who we are and influences who we date.

Racism is real.

Racism is nothing new. Racism is a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human racial groups determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one’s own race is superior and has the right to dominate others or that a particular racial group is inferior to the others. In Scripture we find story after story of oppression to the nation of Israel (Exodus 1-15) as well as the Hebrews being racist to other cultures like the Philistines. Outside the Hebrew religion, it was even said of Jesus, “What good could come from Nazareth?”, his hometown. (John 1:46) The Samaritan woman at the well is another example exhibiting racism. Her people did not associate with another culture. (John 4:1-26)

However, the Bible is not racist.

The Bible is about unity and love.

God became man for all to inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. (John 3:16) The Gospel is to be taken to everyone in the world, not just a selected few. (Acts 1:8) We have been shown love on the cross, so should we love one another. (John 13:35) It is through loving one another that we see God’s love and know HIm better. (1 John 4)

So what does the Bible say about the issue of dating outside one’s race or ethnic background?

“ Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

– 2 Corinthians 6:14

It all comes down a common factor of fellowship with one another in Christ. Not race. This is the Believer’s  foundation for all relationships in life. Being joined in spiritual community is vital to select a person to date and perhaps even marry one day. There are many factors involved in a successful relationship, but spiritual unity is priority number one. Not race.

It is not about race.

Choosing who you date, especially when it comes to interracial dating, should be a decision based on God’s will for your life. That does not ignore the fact that dating someone from another background may have its challenges. It may be a harder relationship in many ways than dating someone within your ethnicity, but it is not one to be avoided simply because of a difference in culture.

In fact, many of the challenges associated with dating people of other backgrounds has nothing to do with the couple and everything to do with their families’ dynamics. Families often struggle with acceptance issues more than the couple. To help close the gap, the foundation of the relationship needs to be about Christ, not about race.

First, each individual in a relationship needs to be Complete In Christ before adding another person to his or her life. When the foundation is in Christ, the decision of who to date or marry is not based on racial issues, but on firm ground laid by the one true King.

Regardless of race, or background, or history, dating always has challenges. If you feel called to date, let Christ lead you, instead of allowing the influence of family or social norms choose a potential mate.

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