The Christian Perspective on Public Displays of Affection (PDA)
In today’s world, public displays of affection (PDA) are everywhere. Whether you’re walking down the street, scrolling through social media, or even at church gatherings, it’s not uncommon to see couples engaging in PDA—holding hands, hugging, kissing, or showing other forms of physical intimacy. For many, these displays of affection feel natural and harmless. But as believers, we are called to approach even our relationships with intentionality and to reflect Christ in every area of our lives, including how we express affection in public.
Understanding PDA as a Believer
It’s important to remember that physical affection is not inherently wrong. God created us to express love and care for one another. However, there is a line between healthy, God-honoring affection and excessive or inappropriate displays of intimacy, especially in public settings. 1 Corinthians 10:31 reminds us, “So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all to the glory of God.” This includes how we express physical emotions, both in private and in public.
For single adults who have recently started dating, PDA can sometimes feel like a newfound freedom. After years of desiring to share physical affection with someone, it can be tempting to overdo it. However, just as we are mindful of our actions in other areas of life, it’s important to be intentional with how we display affection. The key is balance and modesty—showing affection in a way that honors God, respects your partner, and is considerate of others.
Balancing PDA and Consideration for Others
One thing to keep in mind is the impact that your PDA may have on those around you, especially single friends who are not currently in a relationship. For them, seeing couples engage in PDA might serve as a painful reminder of their own relationship status. As someone who was likely in their shoes not too long ago, it’s important to practice sensitivity and discernment.
When you’re with friends—especially in group settings—ask yourself if your level of PDA is appropriate for the situation. Holding hands or a quick hug is usually acceptable, but extensive kissing, cuddling, or other forms of physical intimacy might be better saved for private moments. Modesty in PDA is not just about avoiding discomfort for others, but also about honoring God and maintaining a sense of self-control.
If you’ve been told or you suspect that your PDA might be crossing the line, consider this an opportunity to reflect. Rather than becoming defensive, take it as a chance to be more mindful of how your actions might be affecting others. Your relationship should not only bring joy to you but should also be a positive reflection of Christ to the community around you.
When You Witness Excessive PDA
On the other side, if you’re a single adult witnessing excessive PDA from your dating friends, it can be tough to handle. It’s easy to feel frustrated or even left out. However, it’s important not to gossip or harbor resentment. Instead, approach the situation with grace and understanding.
If you find that your friends’ PDA is consistently making you or others uncomfortable, consider having a loving, respectful conversation with them. Share your feelings and kindly ask them to be mindful of their behavior when in group settings. At the same time, it’s important to recognize that not all PDA is bad or excessive. Couples should be allowed to express affection, even if you’re not in the mood to witness it. After all, you would likely want the same understanding if you were in their shoes someday.
The key here is balance—allowing others to express their affection in moderation while also communicating your boundaries in a loving and Christlike manner.
Navigating PDA and Social Media
In addition to physical PDA, social media has become another platform where couples often display their affection. Whether it’s posting photos, sharing stories, or constantly tagging each other, couples today are more likely than ever to broadcast their relationship status and affection to the world. While it’s natural to want to celebrate a relationship, it’s important to consider how this public display of your private life might affect others.
Just as excessive PDA in person can be off-putting, constant displays of affection on social media can also be overwhelming for your single friends. Be mindful of how often you’re sharing posts that highlight your relationship. While it’s great to celebrate milestones, avoid using social media as a platform to constantly showcase your relationship or make others feel excluded.
Honoring God in Your Relationships
At the end of the day, the goal of any Christian relationship should be to glorify God. This includes how we display affection, both in public and private. Whether you’re holding hands, hugging, or kissing, the way you engage in PDA should be a reflection of the love, respect, and honor you have for one another—and for God.
Physical intimacy is a beautiful part of a romantic relationship, but it is not the only part. A healthy, Christ-centered relationship is one that prioritizes emotional, spiritual, and mental intimacy as well. By keeping PDA within reasonable, modest limits, you can ensure that your relationship is a positive example to others and honors God in every way.
PDA is not something to be avoided entirely, but it should be approached with care. Holding hands, hugging, and kissing can all be wonderful expressions of love, but as believers, we are called to a higher standard. We are called to love others well, to be considerate of those around us, and ultimately, to do everything for the glory of God. Whether in person or on social media, let your displays of affection be a reflection of your relationship with Christ and your desire to honor Him in all things.
