What Young Adults Look for in a Church
Updated November 7, 2026.
Adapted and updated from PJ Dunn’s Lifeway Research article, “What Young Adults Look for in a Church,” published September 30, 2024. The original article was reposted here with permission.
Church leaders, congregants, and pastors verbally acknowledge the need to reach young adults with phrases like “Young people just don’t come to church anymore,” “Growing up, we never missed a Sunday,” or maybe even “We have a lost generation, Lord come quickly.” Why are young adults so hard to find in our communities?
Those comments can make a young adult feel judged before anyone has asked about their life. We want people to understand the value of church life, but shame does little to build a relationship of trust. Some of the frustrations surrounding our efforts to reach young adults deserve a closer look at our own expectations.
Age does not prevent a pastor or church member from building those relationships. Experience can be a source of wisdom when it is offered with humility and interest in another person. Our guide to older adults investing in young adult ministry offers practical ways to begin.
The challenge our churches face in reaching young adults is connecting with them in authentic relationships and being a friend worth having. We lean toward a mindset that values programs over people. Programs can offer environments that foster relationships, but how often do we sacrifice relationships in the name of maintaining a program that we have “always done”?
Authenticity is the currency of young adults
Trust grows when people see consistency between what we say and how we treat them. Young adults bring different experiences of church, so begin by listening. These three questions can help a congregation examine the welcome it offers.
Do you see me?
Notice who arrives alone, who seems unsure where to go, and who has been present for weeks without being introduced. Offer help without putting someone on display. Our guide to welcoming young adults connects those small interactions with the wider church experience.
Do you know my name?
Learning a name is an ordinary act of care. Introduce yourself, ask how the person prefers to be addressed, and make an effort to remember. Follow the introduction with a conversation that gives them room to share as much or as little as they choose.
Do you know me?
Being known takes more than remembering a name. Ask about a person’s interests, responsibilities, hopes, and questions. Follow up on something they shared. Our guide to being a friend worth having offers practical encouragement for those growing friendships.
A church can prepare worship carefully and still make room for honest questions and ordinary people. Let care for the service support care for the congregation. In a Bible study, create space for someone to say they do not understand a passage and receive a thoughtful answer.
Jesus is a friend worth having
Jesus welcomed people others dismissed and called them to follow Him. In Luke 7:34, His critics called Him a friend of sinners. His ministry brings grace and truth together. Our friendships should help people hear the gospel and learn to follow Him, with Scripture guiding what we teach and practice.
In 1 Corinthians 9:19–23, Paul describes adapting to the people he seeks to reach while remaining under the law of Christ. That calls us to understand people without abandoning biblical conviction. Our article on biblical community and disciple making explores how those relationships can grow within the church.
Let your programs serve the people you are reaching
Programs can provide a dependable place to study Scripture, build friendships, and serve. Review them by asking whether they help the people you intend to reach participate and grow.
A meeting time that worked years ago may be difficult for someone working evenings. A group description that assumes everyone is a college student may leave a young employee or parent unsure whether to come. Ask young adults where those barriers exist before planning another activity.
If your church is developing a new approach, our guide to starting a young adult ministry can help you build around people and discipleship. Explain who the group serves and how it connects with the whole congregation.
Be a friend worth having
We must intentionally help young adults connect to our churches. That takes patience, consistent care, and a willingness to learn. Relationships cannot be rushed, and a new program cannot guarantee that someone will return.
Choose a manageable next step. Invite someone to a meal, ask a young adult to help evaluate the visitor experience, or introduce two people who share an interest. For a group beginning to study together, Called and Complete provides a devotional resource about identity and purpose in Christ.
Friend, you are not alone. The challenge is not unique to this generation; it has happened every generation since Jesus gave the Great Commission. Relationships always have and will always be the center of what binds us to share the gospel and reach a lost world. It has been done before, so let’s be encouraged that it can be done again. Go and make disciples and be a friend worth having.
Questions about young adults and church
What should our church focus on first?
Listen to young adults who attend and those you hope to reach. Review how clearly you teach Scripture, welcome questions, introduce people, and explain the next step into church life. Their answers can help you choose a useful first improvement.
Do we need a separate young adult service?
Not necessarily. A separate gathering may serve some churches, while others can strengthen relationships through existing worship, groups, and mentoring. Begin with the people and the purpose before choosing the structure.
How can we keep young adults connected across generations?
Create regular opportunities to study, serve, and share meals with people of different ages. Introduce willing mentors and include young adults in meaningful responsibilities. Relationships need room to continue beyond a single event.
