Politics and Dating


Do you date outside your political views?

The current hostile political environment in America can affect dating relationships. We’ve heard stories of first dates asking what political party their potential mate is affiliated with. Christians in America are guilty of making a person’s political allegiances dictate their relationship interactions. For that matter, so are non-Believers.

When politics is added to dating, it becomes an even more high stakes game of selecting a life partner.

If you choose to date, politics can matter.

However, that does not mean you cannot date outside of your political party. Political camps have their own values and core issues they tend to address. These are something a person agrees with when they align with a party. However, their political affiliation does not entirely define who they are as an individual. Very rarely do people agree 100% with a political party. Political parties are simply too large an organization with an ever-changing agenda. And, it may be that a person selects a party based off one issue dear to them and that important value drives their political selection.

So which party is the correct one?

We are a 501c3, meaning we do not and never will endorse a political party. Regardless of this legal restriction, we would not favor one political party, because we select something even more important.

We select God’s Word as our allegiance.

The correct choice has always been and will always be to follow God’s Word. Both major parties in America have Biblical stances. Yet, both have views that are not found in Scripture or even mentioned in God’s Word. Instead of having a political conversation in a dating relationship, the better conversation is how each of you align with God’s Word.

God’s Word is the Final Word.

We know happy couples that vote opposite parties in every election, some married for decades. Some choose to make it an issue of debate, while others eliminate political talk altogether to avoid confrontation. The happy medium in political issues is to seek God’s Word first and have the common ground that God’s Word is the final authority on all issues. The Bible may not directly speak to every political situation, but its values certainly gives guidance to all situations.

Politics and dating can be an issue in some relationships. The importance should be placed on being equally yoked with one another.

“ Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness

have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

– 2 Corinthians 6:14

It boils down to the common factor of having fellowship with one another in Christ as the foundation for all other relationships. Being joined in spiritual community is vital to select a person to date and perhaps even marry.

There are several factors to consider when dating, but one thing is certain–do not date based on political allegiance.

Date based on spiritual allegiance to Christ.

The New Single Majority


In 2014 the Bureau of Labor and Statistics released information stating for the first time in the history of collecting their data, singles outnumbered married adults in the workforce.

More than half of the workforce is single!

While many news agencies ran with this data the wrong way saying that “adults” are more single than they are married, we at Table for One would like to interpret this data correctly for what it is. These stats reflect 16 and older as single, yet hardly anyone but a government agency would call a 16-year-old single. With the average age of marriage for men at 29 and women at 27, it is fair to say that when we say “single” we often mean those that are not married and that categorization is singles roughly 21 and older. That does not mean this data does not have implications, it does!

# 1 Employers need to be “single” friendly with benefits.

  • Most companies offer the same benefits to all its employees except when it comes to health care. Often a company will absorb more of the cost for a family or married person than for a single adult. With mandatory health care, the benefits for singles will become more competitive with their family counterparts.

# 2 Attendance rules need to be fair regardless of your relationship status.

  • It is the weekend and you have been planning to hang out with your friends all weekend. Your married co-worker wants to spend time with family.  Then your boss calls and asks you to work since you do not have kids or a spouse. Time is valuable to everyone. Treat singles with the same policy you do for those married with kids. Period.

#3 Personal Issues while at work.

  • We all know of the co-worker who is constantly AWOL due to child-related challenges or marriage conflicts. While grace needs to be given, it too should be given for singles who have things they value that sometimes interfere with work. Again, fairness is key to the new single majority workforce.

#4 Not all singles are lonely. Stop trying to play office matchmaker.

  • You come into work to again find a co-worker encouraging you to date more and settle down and be married. All things you are painfully aware of and did not want to deal with right before giving your TPS report. Office relationships have their challenges. Make sure your employer has policies set in place for those that do date and encourage a culture that isn’t only focused on married adults with kids.

These are four ways employers can embrace the new single majority workforce creating a positive place where singles want to work.

Do you think there are more advantages to having more singles in the workforce or not?

Singles Lose at Christmas


Where will your family celebrate Christmas this year?

As the days zoom past before Christmas, families across the country start discussing where Christmas will take place. For some, this is easy. There is a set location and family gathering time regardless of any other circumstances. For others, a tug-of-war begins between single and married siblings.

Singles often lose at the holidays when they have a married sibling in the family. It’s likely that Christmas is where the married sibling is or it could be whoever has the most children. These conditions often leave the single adult with nothing as a leverage chip for family to travel to the single’s house. Family members may say it’s less expensive for the single to travel to the larger majority. Sure it is “cheaper” for one person to fly, but proportionally as a single adult a plane ticket can mean a big hit to the budget with one income vs two. The expense can impact for months leading up to and after the gathering.

Singles, be encouraged that even if your family doesn’t travel to you and your budget doesn’t allow you to go to them, you have Framily, a family of friends, who are eager to gather for the holidays. And even if your budget allows the travel, there’s nothing that says you have to wait for blood relatives to celebrate.

Don’t save all the holiday cheer for only the relatives. Decorate and invite your friends over. They’ll appreciate your effort, especially during this time of year, which can be lonely for many.

Organize a white elephant gift exchange and invite your friends for a dinner, or even simple snacks. It is a great way to give other singles a taste of the holidays at your home and opens your ability and opportunity to minister to them. Often, the non-Believer will enter the hospitable house of a friend before they enter the doors of the church.

Have Christmas at your place! Even if it is not with your immediate family. You and your Framily will have a blast at your place!

True Love Doesn’t Have to Wait

TFO - Table for One Ministries- Ministry for Singles and Leaders to Singles - Blog - True Love Doesn't Have to Wait

True love doesn’t wait. That’s right. All our lives we were taught by Disney, ABC, Hallmark, and others that someday our one “true love” will come and sweep us off our feet. Get married and have perfect children and live happily ever after. But is that what Scripture teaches us? Christian programs talk about this issue, but we are not talking about physical attraction love only. Paul encourages a life of singleness over being married for the sake of Kingdom work in 1 Corinthians 7. Jesus was single and said “Come and Follow me” (Mark 1:17) and died upon a cross for all mankind’s sins to rise again three days later victorious over death. John 3:16: God loved us so much he sent His one son to die for you. True love. 1 John 4 talks about how God is love and we know God’s love by loving one another. The Bible is clear. Be complete in Christ now and know true love!

True love is what Christ has done for us, not what Prince Charming or Snow White has to offer. Singles, do not buy into the lie that marriage is the only way to experiencing true love and be complete. Be complete now and if marriage is in God’s plan for your life,  then great! If not, you are complete and whole knowing the truest love this life has to offer.

Two Homosexuals Walk Into Your Church

TFO - Table for One Ministries- Ministry for Singles and Leaders to Singles - Blog - Two Homosexuals Walk Into Your Church

At Table for One Ministries we have written several blogs on our stance regarding same-sex attraction. In this blog, we are addressing leaders in the local church regarding how to deal with a homosexual couple that comes to visit your church. First, let’s be very clear. Those that are actively engaged in a homosexual lifestyle are single. That is how the Bible defines it and that is how we as ministry define it. That stated, here are some things to address.

1. You can not and should not assume someone is living a homosexual lifestyle. Assumptions lead to mistakes. When dealing with this issue, never ask a person if they struggle with same-sex attraction or ask a couple if they are in fact homosexuals. It is a private matter, they will address with you when they feel it appropriate.

2. The church should not and cannot resource the homosexual lifestyle. Resources come in the form of acknowledging the relationship in class, groups, or financial couple support. This comes to play when deciding which class to take a couple who has told you they are openly living the homosexual lifestyle. The response is not “nowhere”, the response is your singles ministry because those who struggle with this are single. This should be just as true for the church when heterosexual couples are living together and want to be involved in a married class.

3. Love as Christ Loves

1 John 3:16 “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

Too often love is forgotten in the name of Biblical correctness. If you encounter this situation remember first to show the same love you have been given by Christ to the person you want to see the love of Christ.

Am I Still Single Because I Don’t Do the Bar Scene?


Take a look on TV, any show any network. In most every media outlet you are likely to see a stereotype of how singles meet: the bar. It may be a fancy place, or a hole in the wall, but most media are telling singles if they want to meet other singles they need to be in a bar or a club.

At the risk of sounding like we are not “hip,”  we are not anti-fun. Quite the opposite.  At Table for One, we want singles to go have fun with friends, responsibly, and that could result in visiting clubs and bars. Where Christians differ greatly with the rest of the world is knowing these locations are not the only place to find someone.

Likewise, you are not still single because you don’t go clubbing every weekend with your friends. If you are looking for someone to date, you need look where God calls you and where you enjoy life activities. That means you may find your special someone at a baseball game, walking, biking, or at church functions.

Don’t buy into the lie that the bar scene is for singles. Be unique and be who God called you to be and be where He called you to be. If it’s the Lord’s will, you will find the person you seek. But always remember, marriage isn’t the finish line.

Single Struggles: Is Online Dating for Christians?


Online dating is a tricky subject. Everyone knows someone who has found the love of their life online, and they are happily married with kids. This creates the idea that online dating is perfect in every way. At the same time, everyone is terrified of the person who lies about everything online in order to get a date. This goes along with the idea that those searching online must be at the “bottom of the barrel” in the dating world.

Table for One does not believe either of these extremes are true, though both sides make valid arguments.  We take the stance that when you are dating online recognize that the website you choose is not as committed to finding your soul-mate, but finding your wallet; not committed to your love, but to your wallet.  Online dating is BIG business and highly profitable with little overhead for most sites. That is why there is a dating site for almost every city in America and every country in the world. Advertisers lure visitors to buy their product and money is made.

So when do you make the jump and try online dating? Online dating sites are most useful as a method for making initial contact, not to develop a deep relationship. Only online date if your intention is to physically meet someone within a few digital communications. Choose public areas to meet and be realistic that some dates will be good and some will be bad. It takes time and interaction to get to know the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.

What do you think? Do you date online?  What is your opinion of online dating? Respond below!

Single and Considering an Abortion


The world tells us you that as a single you cannot raise a child alone. Regardless of the life in you, your life and priorities come first. After all, how will you raise a child by yourself? This lie is spread by some who are pro-choice in an attempt for a mother-to-be to feel empowered to chose what God has already allowed. Ironically, once society gets past this decision, mothers, Christian or not, can find all kinds of support for raising a family with one parent.

Enter your church’s singles ministry. A place where a mother can find hope and family to help raise her new child. Singles’ groups are always fluctuating with people getting married, and hopefully, new guests coming into the group. But this environment is where single mothers need to find friends and community combined with preschool, children, and youth ministries for their child. Do not segment out these ladies or men. They need other singles to come alongside them and provide support for both parent and child.

When your church has a singles ministry, single parents should never have to raise their children alone regardless of how that child entered this world.

Single leaders, reach out to pregnancy centers and connect single mothers to your group and church to find a place to call home.

Single Parent=Exhausted Parent


Unless you have been there, it is really hard to understand. Single parents struggle with so many challenges. Your kids can be sweet, and then sometimes, they can be little terrors. You love them with all your heart and would die for them if called to, but there are also times when you might just give them away if only for a moment’s peace.

Your average day consists of waking early to get yourself ready so you can get your kids dressed, fed, teeth brushed, hair combed, and packed for school or daycare. Then it is off to work for at least eight hours, only to come home exhausted to fix dinner, help with homework, settle disputes, get the kids through the tub and off to bed. Then it’s time to clean the house, not spic and span, but just enough so you won’t worry about being featured on the next episode of Hoarders. And then, there is the never-ending list of things you have been told you should be doing, but just can’t find the time.

I can remember many nights when I laid down at night too exhausted to lift my head. All I could do was cry (yes, men cry too) and try to muster enough strength to face another day. In times like these it is important to remember we are not alone. God is right there with us. His promises were precious to me then and still are. Here is my favorite:

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.

There is so much to draw strength and encouragement from in these verses. But let’s just focus on the fact Jesus is here to help us through the daily challenges of life. When we operate in His strength, we can go on even when our strength has run out. Learning to trust and operate in His strength takes time and practice, but we can. Here are a few tips I learned as a single parent to lighten the load.

1. Pray: Pray for yourself, that God would strengthen you and help you focus on the important things of life, and let the trivial things go. Pray for and with your kids. Pray they would know God fully and be able to trust in Him completely. Pray God would cover your parenting mistakes with His grace. Pray God would protect your family from the schemes of the devil.

2. Join: We were not meant to walk this life alone. We need fellow believers. Find a local church and join a small group. You need brothers and sisters who will pray, encourage and support you.

3. Take a break: Find someone in your church or family to occasionally give you a break by watching your children. This can be a church friend or family member. You might even explore a co-op with other single parents you trust and take turns watching each other’s children.

4. Remember God’s Promises: God loves and is always there for us. We find our identity in Him and his Word. I never mentioned this earlier, but single parents, moms especially, can be judged and unfairly labeled. Don’t believe the lies the world tells us. Trust His Word.

Remember, God loves and accepts you. You are perfect in his eyes, not because of anything you have done, but because of what He has done. Live in this Truth.

Could You Marry in 90 Days?


TLC has launched a show where people meet online, are together for 90 days, and in the end they have to get married or break up. So the question arises, could you meet someone and marry them in 90 days?

Marriage is a big deal! But also a big deal for some singles is the need/desire to be married…and soon. Some singles are facing a biological clock to start a family, while others are just tired of being alone. But, most of the people on the show are missing one key relationship in their life. A relationship with Christ.

A relationship with Christ makes us whole. It puts together the broken pieces of our lives.

God gives His only Son as a payment for our sins. It is sacrificial love we don’t deserve but is freely given to us to accept and have a relationship with our Creator. So, the question then is why do you “have to get married in 90 days?” Why is there such a rush to fill a void in life when Christ has already done that for those who have accepted him.

Single adult Christ-follower, hear us. Do not make a life-long decision based on a short-term relationship.

It is not the 90 days being engaged on the show that’s the problem, it is the years behind it that make a marriage. Be Complete in Christ. Let marriage be the icing on the top of the cake instead of the whole cake. When you approach dating with this mindset, then you will make good decisions empowered by prayer that will lead to a life that honors Christ.

Can you find a spouse in 90 days? Sure, but is that what God wants you to do?