A Profile of Singles: Divorced Singles

A Deeper look at Divorced Singles

At Table for One Ministries we are passionate about reaching singles of all ages and backgrounds. In this series of blogs we are looking at the “profile” of each type of single adult. While these are not all encompassing, they are meant to help singles and those who lead singles understand that type of single adult better or in a different light. We welcome feedback and additions to these profiles as we grow our ministry to [email protected]

Characteristics of this Group

Divorced singles come from many different places and backgrounds. Some have been married a few years, while others for decades. Divorce is one of the most emotionally traumatic experiences a person goes through and when they are done with the process, they are single. While over 40% of marriages end in divorce, those who remarry have an even higher chance of divorce. Divorced singles know what it is like to live with someone and share intimate moments. When that is taken away, it becomes hard to process. Men tend to remarry sooner than women but both divorced men and women seek to fill a hole in their emotional lives after divorce.

Ministry Needs in this Group

An emotional hole is left in the life of a recently divorced adult. It does not matter if the divorce was for “good” or “bad” reasons; it is a major life change to experience divorce. Single adults in this category need a support group to help them transition back into the single life. Many do not “know how to date” anymore but more importantly, they need to realize there is no need to date unless it is in God’s plan. Divorced singles may also be single parents and require activities that are friendly for children to participate.

Communication Strategies for this Group

Divorced singles need to be encouraged with the message of being Complete in Christ.  While trying to fill their emotional hole after a divorce, they often make irrational decisions that affect them for years. The mode of communication is not as important as just communicating with them. A bridge needs to be in place from any DivorceCare ministry to the singles ministry to connect them to the larger singles group. Many of them will need a one-on-one with the primary singles leader to determine where and when they will best fit into a group.

Strategy for Reaching this Group

All divorced singles are different. Each divorce is different, and the wounds carried from that divorce will vary. DivorceCare is a great way to reach divorced adults to talk about their pain and process emotions. Through the program at DivorceCare, a single adult can then enter fully into a singles ministry. Though divorced singles should not be isolated from singles during this challenging time, it is encouraged they go through this course to consider all the aspects of being single again. Isolating divorced singles, however,  is never a good long-term strategy. While it is good for a short time like DivorceCare, when they are isolated they tend to dwell on the past more than move forward and focus on Christ.

Resources

Instone, David. Divorce and Remarriage in the Church. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2003.

Roberts, Barbara. Not Under Bondage: Biblical Divorce for Abuse, Adultery & Desertion. Ballarat, Victoria: Maschil Press, 2008.

Smoke, Jim. Growing Through Divorce. Eugene: Harvest House Publishers, 1995.